Desperation

                              Ah Mei gazed at her newborn son.  He was lovely, has a pair of rosy cheeks and a very high nose.  With a cherubic face, her infant was handsome.  His pinkish wrinkled skin was so soft to touch.  Yet, Ah Mei knew that he would not be with her for long.  Her son was put out for sale; the baby was born out of wedlock and Father had insisted to get rid of the child.  It was better for Ah Mei to start life afresh again, he thought.  Ah Mei did not think likewise.  Her father was wicked in her eyes and she could not bear to leave her child.

                                “The man will be here any moment!” Father knocked on the door and spoke sternly.  Ah Mei was nursing her son.  His cheek pressed against her swollen breast.  It was supposed to be the last nursing session for him.

                                “Can’t I keep him, Father?”  Ah Mei pleaded again, hoping that he would change his mind.  Father gave an adamant no!  He was just like an impenetrable wall that refused to crumble.  The baby gave a soft cry. 

                                There was a loud knock on the door.  A man and a woman bolted into the living room, looking thrilled to see the child.  They looked middle-aged and were eyeing the baby longingly.  “Come, let me carry him!”  the  woman smiled and asked.  Ah Mei tightened her grip and turned away.  How she despised the couple!  No one was going to get her child away from her. 

                                Bewildered, the woman gave her an irritated glare.  “What  was going on? I thought we have come to an agreement.  Fifty thousand yuan for the baby.”

                                “Mei!  Give her the baby!” Ah Mei’s father commanded. 

                                “Then…then… can I give him a last bath?”  the downcast Ah Mei  beseeched.

                                “Alright then…hurry up!” the man spoke.

                                “Take these,” the woman snapped and threw some brand new clothes on the table.  The clothes were so miniature that they looked those for a doll.

                                Ah Mei gently cradled the child and brought him to the  moldy bathroom.  Gently, she undressed him and placed him in a gleaming tub filled with warm water.  She gently cleaned him with a soft cottony cloth.  The water rippled as the infant cooed in delight.

                                “Goodbye, my child!  Goodbye,” she sobbed as tears streamed down her gaunt cheeks.  The baby gave a sparkling smile.    Ah Mei then dressed him up in the most beautiful apparel.  She then undressed her top and nursed him again.  She unscrewed a bottle of bleach and started gulping the bitter liquid down.

                                “What is taking so long,” Ah Mei’s father exclaimed urgently, knocking on the door impatiently. 

                                “Just a while more,” Ah Mei replied weakly.  Whitish vomit was seeping from the corner of her mouth while her stomach churned in terrible pain as if a thousand needles were spiking it.

                                Then Ah Mei planted a kiss on his forehead and, in cold blood, sorrowfully pressed her baby into the tub. The water  was a cold-hearted accomplice.  The baby let out a painful but feeble cry and struggled hard to breathe but could not.   His tiny arms flailed above the crystal clear water as if pleading to live.  “Son, Mother cannot be with you now.  But I can be with you -- under,” she muttered and slumped over the bathtub.

                                There was a strong thump on the door and Ah Mei’s father entered.  Ah Mei was dead with her son's body floating downwards.