In a recent composition I
marked, the 'Before' is the climax done by my student. Using her work as
a sample, I taught the class on how to expand the climax and hook the readers.
The 'After' is what we discussed in class. Not too bad, right?
The sound signalled the start of the race. The competitors
sprinted as if they were on steroids. It was hard to win in such a
race. Timothy overtook them one by one. Soon, he was the
first. Dashing as fast as he could, he crossed the finishing line and won.
After
Bang! The blast from the starter gun signaled the start of the
race. The competitors typhooned down the race tracks like strong gales as
if they were on steroids. It was hard to win in such a race.
Was Timothy going to win? Maybe yes? Maybe no? Yet, Timothy refused
to give up and held a tiny glimmer of hope inside him. Whooosh!
What was that? It was Timothy. He had picked up his pace and was running
at a breakneck speed. Timothy had never run so fast in his life
before. Where did he get all this leg power?
His unexpected performance caught the spectators’ attention.
They were all holding their breaths. Everyone was at the edge of their
seats, all eager to know who the winner was going to be. They were all
cheering for their favourite runners. The whole stadium was instantly
electrified!
As Timothy charged forwards,
his strong legs thumped against the orange rubbery tracks. His heart
throbbed violently against his ribcage and his lungs were screaming for air.
Sweat was dripping down the sides of his forehead. Despite the intense
ache in his legs, he overtook them one by one. Soon, he was neck to neck
against the strongest runner nicknamed ‘The Flash’! Winning him would be
a miracle. Was Timothy going to win? Dashing as fast as a bolt of
lightning, he ran like no tomorrow and overtook his opponent. Yes, he
crossed the finishing line! He won! Filled with triumphant jubilation, he
punched the air in victory!
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